iGallop

OK, so I found something almost as bad as the Hawaii Chair. Well, maybe it is as bad. I wouldn't really know. But for those of you looking for a quick weight loss solution, this may be your answer:

Notice the chick pretending to shoot her guns. I think you burn more calories that way.

All right, all right

So it wasn't really Alice Nelson from the Brady Bunch who came to help me the next week. It was STEPH! She came all the way from Oklahoma to be my wing man for a whole week. It was totally like having Alice live with me. The kids and I even started calling her Alice. She would actually sweep the floors and do the dishes while I was at work and then I would come home to find lunch on the table for me or dinner in the oven. We also ate LOTS of chocolate stuff. That Steph is a bad influence on me...you all know I RARELY indulge in chocolate.
She also brought her youngest, Andyn with her. She was a doll and shared a room with Sam. All three boys absolutely fell in love with her and begged me for the first day or two if we could PLEASE have a new baby sister. Uh...no. I told them the only way that would happen was if they went out and found one and brought her home. They finally gave up and Sam decided he would start begging for a dog instead.
I made Steph come with me to one of my Zumba classes. She stayed in the back and did the white-girl version of Zumba. I think she even had an overbite. Anyway, despite being out of breath, she laughed the whole time...either at me or herself; I'm not sure which!
I learned some interesting things about Steph since we shared the same bed. For one, unlike Dave, she can fall asleep in seconds flat. Also, sometimes just as she starts slipping into unconsciousness, she makes a weird moaning noise. One trait she does share with Dave is the ability to snore really loud but she doesn't mind when I elbow her to knock it off (Dave doesn't mind either). I also learned (although I already suspected this) that she can sleep in REALLY late if she's wearing ear plugs and you're taking care of her baby.
One of the best things about having Steph here, in addition to everything else, was that she taught me how to use PhotoShop to make my own Zumba fliers. Now I can use the images and marketing tools available to me from the Zumba site to print at home. Never could figure that out before!
So after Steph left, I had one more week to "get through" and then Dave got home this past Saturday. Aaah, not a moment too soon! It had rained for 2 days straight and I had a really bad day on Friday. Then on Saturday, the weather turned beautiful, the sun came out and Dave got home. More on that and all the Swiss chocolate he brought home...later!
One trivia question: Who did Alice have the hots for?

Wendy Whirlwind; that's me!

Aiye carumba! What a whirlwind week/month it has been! The first week Dave was gone (right after my birthday and the mystery cookies) went by really fast as we adjusted to not having him around and me taking the kids with me to work, etc. I did pretty good that first week. I did completely forget to take Peter to his first t-ball practice and there was something else I spaced out on that week, too, but now I can't remember what it was...what a surprise. Oh yeah, I forgot to take Caleb to an orthodontist appt. Even after they called and confirmed it with me. Hey, I'm shocked that I can even remember it now.
ANYWAY, a week after Dave left, my dad arrived to stay with me for a week. This was because I had called him a few days before Dave left and I left a pathetic sounding message on my dad's voicemail. It said something to the effect of, "Hi Dad, it's me. Um, so Dave's leaving this weekend and, um, sniff sniff, I'm totally FREAKING OUT because I don't know what I was THINKING but I cannot do this by myself. Any chance you and Nan were planning on heading to New Jersey for a visit? I could really use you for a week...I know it's totally selfish of me to ask...sniff, sniff, I'm just totally FREAKING OUT and feeling overwhelmed and stressed, and did I mention FREAKING OUT?" So, my dear old dad drove all the way from Texas in his old conversion van which gets about 15 mpg, at best, on the freeway...spending all my inheritance money on gas, to rescue me once again.
I say, once again, because it reminds me of a time when I was a student at BYU. It was my first year there (I started in January, not in the fall) and all my friends, roommates, and even my boyfriend were all leaving for the summer. I stayed because I had an academic scholarship through the summer. Anyway, I was really sad and depressed and feeling sorry for myself as all my friends left and I was all alone for a few days before the new semester began. And THEN, my dad showed up! From Texas! We hopped in his car and had a major excursion. We went to the Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, Death Valley, Yosemite, Lake Tahoe, and San Francisco all in a few short days. I had never been to ANY of those places and it was so fun. I liked San Francisco so much that that's where I chose for Dave and I to have our honeymoon...but that's a different story for a different time. So, I guess even though I'm 36 31, I still need my dad to come rescue me now and then. It's nice to know he's there for me...or here for me, I guess I should say!
SO, dad would babysit while I went to work. It was spring break week for the kids so he took them to the park and let them play or shared his golf clubs with them. He also took them fishing. Dave and I have never done this and now I remember why. If any of you ever hear me say, "Hey, wouldn't it be fun to take the kids fishing," just slap me. The kids spent, I think, about 5 minutes fishing and my dad and I spent about 5 hours untangling line. OK, that may be a slight exaggeration. Sam actually did pretty good and really got into it. The fish just weren't biting that day. Darn fish. Very annoying.
My dad also spoiled us by taking us out to dinner/lunch all the time so I never had to cook or anything. As an instructor at several gyms, I've learned that spring break can be hell. Here's why: I never go out of town on spring break. Thus, I'm left to sub classes for all the instructors who DO go out of town. Plus I had agreed to teach some kids Zumba classes at the Y for their kids spring break camps. Yeah, stupid, I know. Next year I'm going to either go out of town or just pretend that I'm going out of town. I actually taught 18 classes in 5 days. By Friday, my body hurt so bad I could barely move. I had to take lots of Advil and hot showers!
That Saturday, I "performed" at a party. You know how people hire clowns to come to their kid's party...I was the Zumba clown. No, really, it wasn't quite like that. It was an adult party for a couple from Cuba. They were having a small gathering with friends and family and thought it would be fun to have me come and lead them in some salsa, merengue, etc. My only stipulation (other than they had to pay me big bucks) was that they would feed me, too! Anyway, despite feeling like a freak some of the time, it was really fun and I think they enjoyed it.
My dad had to leave that night but guess who arrived to help me out for the NEXT whole week?! I'll give you a hint here.

Happy Blogiversary!

Actually, this is Steph! But I just wanted to let you all know that Shelley is celebrating one year of blogging today!! And because I just posted about this on my blog I thought it would be cute to post it on her blog, too!! Congrats, Shelley!!

Quote of the Day

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them, and you have their shoes.--Frieda Norris

Mystery cookies

For my birthday last weekend, the kids decided to surprise me by baking some cookies. I knew something was up when they insisted that I go upstairs and kick up my feet for awhile. I heard lots of ruckus going on in the kitchen and figured they were trying to surprise me with something for my birthday. I resisted the urge to panic, or call 911, and just held my breath. About TWO hours later they called me downstairs by telling me they were having a problem they needed help with. Oh boy, I thought. When I rounded the corner they sang happy birthday and presented me with about 3 dozen cookies. They were grinning from ear to ear and I couldn't help beaming myself.
They did a really good job and the cookies were actually edible. I don't know exactly what kind of cookies they were...they were kind of a shortbread cookie with M&Ms and butterscotch chips thrown in. I took some pictures with my phone but can't figure out how to transfer them to the computer. (My real camera is in Switzerland right now). Anyway, there was one batch of cookies that looked like balls or raw dough. Apparently I have still forgotten to teach the kids about preheating the oven. They just put the first batch in and then turned it on. I also found out they turned the oven off in between batches. Oh well, no big deal. I told them maybe we shouldn't eat that first batch, though, because of the raw eggs. They told me not to worry because there were no eggs in these cookies! I didn't know you could make cookies without using eggs, but hey, what do I know!?

I just got finished putting together a cd of pictures for Sam's 5th grade "end of the school year" party. It's not 'til June but they want pictures of each kid for a slide show or something. (In our school, they have a HUGE party for the 5th graders who are now 'graduating' from elementary to middle school). Anyway, I included this picture because he's such an adorable 6 month old...sitting in a field of Texas blue bonnets that were growing wild on the side of the freeway.



To be honest, this is the picture I WANTED to include:




Isn't he just adorable?! This is one of my favorite-all-time pictures. Not just because he's wearing a fairy princess costume. It's because of how truly HAPPY he is to be wearing a fairy princess costume. Look at his smile, look at his eyes; you can just feel how happy he is! Alas, he wouldn't let me include it in the slide show. I decided to honor his wishes. Don't need him blaming me for THAT later in therapy.

Speaking of favorite-all-time-pictures. Here's another one of my favorites. It's Peter:

THE END.

Glop

I made chili for dinner last night. I use this chili mix that we all really like a lot. It is from Bear Creek soups and is called Darn Good Chili. All you have to do is add water and a can of tomatoes. I always add a pound of cooked ground beef, too. Anyway, as long as Peter can pick out the tomatoes, everyone is very happy. Sam usually has two bowls and is sad the next day if there are no leftovers.

WELL, yesterday I didn't have any ground beef to add and I could have picked some up at the store but I had a great idea! I've known lotsa people who substitute cooked wheat for ground beef in various recipes, including chili. I have LOTS of wheat stored up in my garage so I thought this would be a great idea. I could use up some of my delicious, nutritious whole wheat and not have to make an extra trip to the store!

So we sit down and start to dig in and the kids are excited because the love this stuff. Soon thereafter Sam made a comment...something like, "What is this stuff?"
"It's chili, of course!" I told him.
"It seems different. It doesn't taste the same," he said.
"Hmm, I dunno, it's the same chili I always make," I innocently say as I show him the empty package...just to prove that it's the SAME chili I always make.
After a few more minutes he finally exclaimed, "Where's the MEAT!?!"
"Huh, what?" I pretended I couldn't understand what he was talking about.
"There's no meat!"
"Oh, uh, yeah, I didn't have any so I put in wheat instead. It rhymes with meat, see, wheat--meat, get it? Wheat/meat?" I explained.
He groaned and it just went downhill from there. Peter and Caleb and I were able to eat it just fine but Sam was heartbroken. (I'll admit it DID taste very different but it wasn't gross or anything).

Finally he just refused to eat it and asked if he could have more crackers. I politely said sorry, the crackers are for people who are eating their chili. He groaned again and was completely exasperated by now. He yelled, "IT'S NOT CHILI!"
I tried to explain that yes, indeed, it was chili, it just didn't have beef in it.

Later I served some giant strawberries for dessert. Again, I said these are for those of us who have finished our chili. Poor kid, by now he had tears in his eyes. He yelled again, "It's not chili! If it was chili I would eat it!"
By now my patience had run out and I asked him in my Mr. Smarty-pants voice as my head bobbled side to side..."If it's not chili, then what exactly is it?"

"GLOP," he said.

I suppose it was my fault for asking. I should know better by now. You'll be happy to know that once he saw his brothers gobbling down the strawberries he was suddenly able to gag down every bite of his...glop.

Today is Thursday which is Eggo waffle night at our house so everyone should be happy about that...although I did buy a generic brand of Eggos this time...OOPS, could spell trouble.

Middle child

This morning as I was thinking in the shower (I get a lot of good thinking done in the shower) I realized that Jane, the girl who cut herself some new bangs at our house, is a middle child. And then I realized, HEY, MY middle child gave himself a haircut once, too! And he was about the same age as Jane is now. Here's some pictures of his escapade:

There was nothing left to do but practically shave him bald. He did NOT like that so that cured him of his scissor shennanigans...until we lived in Oklahoma and he once cut off all his eyelashes. That actually stressed me out more than his haircut because he has the most beautiful long, thick eyelashes. AND not to mention what was he doing with scissors right up next to his eyeballs?! Isn't anyone keeping an eye on these kids? At least the middle ones?!

Okie Dokie...

Okie dokie, I'm getting slothful with the blogging. I keep making mental notes of what I need/want to write about and then when I sit down to write, I can't remember any of them. So, I'm just gonna start typing and I'm sure they'll all come flooding back in no particular order. I won't win any prizes for the "flows the best" blog entry but I can live with that.
First of all, my day in the city last weekend was really fun. I enjoyed the Zumba class and learned some new moves. It's always fun to be a student now and then instead of the leader all the time.
Mamma Mia was spectacular! We had great seats and could see everything very well. The music was great, of course, and I knew all the words to all the songs so I could sing along in my head. The band/orchestra was perfect although they were situated under the stage so we never actually saw them...just the conductor. I can't imagine how much money those shows cost to put on but then again, every seat was full and most of those seats are over $100 each...and there were a LOT of seats!
While I was doing all this, Dave took the kids to Central Park and the Museum of Natural History. They were going to head home around lunch time but ended up staying 'til almost four o'clock so they must've been having fun!

Change of subject: yesterday Peter asked me how many inches there are between our floor and heaven. He was totally serious and so I said, Ummm, around 107...no WAIT--make that 108. He said that wasn't nearly enough and luckily wandered off to find Dave to ask.
Speaking of Peter, he had a friend over a couple of weeks ago...we'll call her Jane. Jane has been over once or twice before and although Peter loves her to death, she is a handful for me so unfortunately he only gets to invite her when I'm feeling ambitious and energetic. He has another friend, we'll call him Evan (tee hee, that's his REAL name!) who comes over at least once a week and they play so nicely and rarely get into trouble so it's no problem at all. Not so with Jane. I have to keep an eye on them all the time...not that they fight or anything, it's just that she is a busybody. She is into EVERYTHING. I'm surprised she hasn't been into my underwear drawer yet...seriously! Anyway, they had, what I thought was a very successful playdate this one day. No serious problems or interventions on my part. When it was time for Jane to go home, I was standing in the foyer making small talk with Jane's mom whom I don't know very well at all. Jane came bounding down the stairs with her cute brown hair and quirky crooked bangs.
Jane's mom said, "Jane! Did you cut your hair?!" My eyes bugged out as my head snapped to look at Jane's hair.
"Uhhhh, did she not already have bangs when she came here today?", I asked.
"...No" was her mom's reply.
Oh geez, I thought, can this really be happening? We did ascertain, at least, that Jane had cut her own hair and at least Peter hadn't cut it but still...her mom was very cool about it but I doubt she is going to let her come over again anytime soon. Which is actually fine with me; my nerves are frazzled.

Caleb was in the backyard looking under rocks (his favorite pastime) when he found this little fella.
It's either a salamander or a newt. He grabbed it by the tail thinking it was an earthworm and pulled it out from under the rock. Later he found a second one that was a little bit smaller. The one in the pic is named Louie and the second one was named Mike. I'm just glad it wasn't a snake.



And since we're looking at pictures of creepy things, here's a picture of my stovetop. This is AFTER I cleaned the heck out of it. You can even see scratch marks where my Mr. Clean magic eraser has previously scratched it up. I've tried EVERYTHING but steel wool because I'm sure that'll just scratch it worse. I had mild success with bleach at one point but even that is not working anymore. I'm posting it so maybe one of you can tell me how to clean it. It did not look like this when we moved in so it really bugs me. Any ideas?

A Note About Dave's Blog

At the beginning of the year I (Dave) had started my own blog. It was meant to be a site where a few invited friends of mine could visit and discuss certain topics. I thought I took steps to keep it private, but somehow I missed the fact it showed up under Shelley's list of blogs. Within the past two weeks I have had a few people tell me they read my blog, which was a surprise until I learned how easy it was to access! I debated whether to shift the site's purpose to being open to anyone to read and decided I would try it. My first post after making this decision was written Friday, the 28th. The posts before that date were odds and ends left over from discussions before I was aware of its general availability. I tend to be a somewhat cerebral guy when I write and so if that is your sort of thing I hope you enjoy reading it. www.davidcapener.blogspot.com

Mamma Mia, here I come!

I had lunch with a friend, and fellow Zumba instructor last week and she and I decided we would should have a girls trip to Broadway one of these days to see a show together. We also talked about how I really like ABBA...she has seen the musical Mamma Mia, based on the songs of ABBA and LOVED it so we decided we would see that together some time. Long story short, we're going THIS Sunday to the matinee performance. That's the nice thing about having husbands who work in the City. They can just swing by the box office and get good deals on good seats and save $$ over buying on-line tickets. Anyhoo, so I am very excited about that. I really don't know anything about this show but I figure how can you NOT have fun at a show where people look like this.
In addition to the show, we decided to go into the City early to attend a Zumba class given by another fellow instructor and friend, Ben Byrd. It will be at the world famous Alvin Ailey Dance Theater. So now I'll be able to say I "shaked my groove thang' at the Alvin Ailey Dance Theater. Who knows, maybe they'll ask me to join their dance company and tour the world to share my expertise and unbridled talent. ;o) Hey, I'm sure that could happen...
p.s. Even though we "saved" money on our tickets, I'm still counting on certain people to send me birthday money to help cover the costs...hint, hint. You know who you are.

Tide Talking Stain

Hopefully you already saw my favorite Super Bowl commercial from this earlier post. I had way too much free time on the computer today and decided to do this:

Great use of spare time, eh?!

One more...

I just found one more random sampling:
I found these tags on the floor of the garage yesterday as I was digging through boxes looking for Easter baskets, etc. Somehow they had fallen out of the trash can. They are from last Fall when Dave "processed" John Mayer's watch at work. His particular watch costs around $250,000. It looks like this, if you're interested. No, just kidding; it really looks like this. And it really does cost that much.

Random Sampler

This post is full of random stuff, daily drivel, nothing important really. Just some things I keep forgetting to blog about.
Last weekend, over dinner, we were discussing Dave's upcoming trip to Switzerland. He will be gone for a month. I am very anxious about this as I do not do well as a single mom, much less a single working mom with no family and few friends nearby. But I digress...
We've been talking openly about this trip for awhile but for some reason, just this past Saturday, it finally sunk in with Peter. We were eating dinner and talking about the trip and that little light bulb went off over Peter's head and he said to Dave, "You're leaving for a whole month?!?!" Then things spiraled downward from there. You see, when Peter gets sad, truly sad, it is a most pathetic sight. It makes you want to laugh and cry at the same time. First his eyes become HUGE and the lower edges brim with tears. Then, I swear, his entire face slides slowly south. It's like his whole face collapses with sadness, in slow motion, and then the alligator tears start flowing. It's the saddest thing to watch so you feel like crying, too, but you have to laugh to keep from crying and also because it's so darn cute. Then he thinks you're laughing AT him and he buries his face in his hands and sobs harder which makes you feel like a total heel. Anyway, enough about me. Here's Peter AFTER he was done with his crying jag. He actually removed himself from the dinner table and I sat on the couch and held him for awhile.
Here's Dave trying to finish his dinner and feeling like a heel:

I forgot to mention what Peter said right after, "You're leaving for a whole month?!?!" He said, "But who's going to help me play Zelda?!" Zelda, as many of you know, is a video game and Dave "helps" Peter with the difficult parts. I certainly can't do it. I know nothing about video games. I can't even watch them because I get motion sick when I do. We're hoping Sam and Caleb will be able to help Peter with Zelda next month...

Moving on, see how unhappy I look in this picture?
I am unhappy because my Schick Quattro for women (razor) fell in the shower the other day and broke so I had to buy a new one. No, just kidding, that is not why I'm unhappy. I'm unhappy because WHY WHY WHY do they package these things so that you can't get the darn thing OPEN?!?!? I can't tell you how long it took me to get that razor out of the package. And I'm a smart person. And strong too. I kept looking at the package thinking maybe there were instructions somewhere that I was missing. Surely I missed something somewhere; it surely can't be THIS hard. Alas, YES, it IS this hard. A few weeks ago I was trying to open a package of batteries and I just about had to get a blow torch to get a one stupid battery out. And don't even get me started on children's toys. How they twist-tie every single component into the box..."Merry Christmas kids! You can play with your new toy in about 2 hours when we finally get it out of the package!"...ugh...

Moving on...Sam had to do a report on Alabama recently. He had to make a poster which he, unfortunately, put off until the night before it was due. Here he is at 10:30pm:I was really torn with wanting to help him with it or let him suffer the full consequences of procrastinating and just go to bed. I figured he's in 5th grade, this might be a good time to learn this. To his credit, he never once complained, whined, or asked for help. Unfortunately, this made me want to help him more. I did stay up to show him how to try to make his lettering evenly-spaced and straight, but he didn't let me help him color or anything at all. When I offered, he said "Well, we're really supposed to do all the work ourselves." SO, I went to bed. I heard him go to bed finally at midnight. The next morning I thought I'd be dragging a tired, cranky 5th grader out of bed but he got himself up and ready fo school as usual. Then I asked to see his poster. I half-expected a sloppy job but then he showed me this:

I was really impressed! I thought he did a great job and can hardly believe he stayed up to color every inch of that darn thing. Hopefully his teacher will agree...

All the kids have chores to do around the house. One of Peter's is to take the disinfectant wipes and wipe down the bathroom counters and sink. I think he actually only cleans the faucet so we are still working on the rest...anyway, the other day as he was cleaning the faucet he said to me, "You know Mom, if we used CLOROX wipes, we'd have a streak-free shine on the faucet. See how there are streaks left on the faucet? See? With CLOROX wipes there aren't any streaks."
So here's a picture of the non-Clorox/generic brand wipes we use from Wal-Mart. Warning: these disinfectant wipes have been known to leave streaks on faucets.
I'm thinking I let them watch way too much television...or at least too many commercials...
Speaking of Peter, this morning I was making breakfast and he shuffled into the kitchen looking sad and forlorn. I think he even sniffled. I asked him what was wrong and he gestured towards the window and pointed outside.
"THIS" he said.
I quickly looked out he window but didn't see anything out of the ordinary.
"Um, what?" I said.
"LOOK!" he exclaimed.
I looked outside again. I thought maybe there was some kind of catastrophe going on that I somehow missed. I still didn't see anything. I tentatively asked again,
"What is it, honey? What's wrong?"
As his eyes filled with tears and his face slowly slid south (oh no!) he waved his arm towards the window again and finally wailed,
"THIS IS SPRING?!?!"
Then the light bulb went off over MY head and I realized he was referring to the weather. The cold weather, that is. Plus it is very windy today which makes it feel much colder.
So apparently they've been learning, in Kindergarten, all about Spring and the first day of Spring, etc., and what that entails. I think he honestly thought he would wake up this morning and put on a t-shirt and shorts...all the flowers would be blooming and butterflies would gaily fly by his window. Then we'd go outside and bask in the warm sunlight as we blew bubbles and played hopscotch with sidewalk chalk. Uh, yeah, NOT in New Jersey. Poor kid. I felt really bad for him. Somehow I was able to distract him with breakfast. I, myself, am easily distracted by food so it works for now.

One last random funny:

Is it Spring?

Although they are talking snow for tonight, we enjoyed 50 degree weather yesterday. The kids actually played outside a lot and they weren't even wearing coats! We came across this lonely little crocus smack-dab in the middle of our yard. I'm not sure how it ended up there and I'm even more amazed that it hasn't been stepped on or picked. I'm hoping it's a sign that Spring will actually arrive soon. Maybe even on March 21st?Can you find me?